


How Do I Breathe

by Obliviouschyld



Series: Songspiration [9]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Arguing, Lovers, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-28 16:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15710589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obliviouschyld/pseuds/Obliviouschyld
Summary: What I think happened between Markson during the latest promotion.Sometimes we say things we don't mean. Sometimes what we say wasn't meant to be understood that way. Which is also why that we need to be careful with the things we say in that heated moment. It only takes a word to destroy something you hold precious.





	1. The Song

**How Do I Breathe**

**\- Mario**

 

How do I breathe, yeah?

How do I breathe, yeah?

 

_ [Verse:] _

It feels so different being here,

I was so used to being next to you,

Life for me is not the same,

There's no one to turn to.

I don't know why I let it go too far,

Starting over - it's so hard.

Seems like everywhere I try to go,

I keep thinking of you.

 

_ [Hook:] _

I just had a wake up call,

Wishing that I never let you fall,

Baby you are not to blame at all.

when I'm the one that pushed you away.

Baby if you knew I cared,

You'd have never went nowhere (nowhere),

Girl I should've been right there.

 

_ [Chorus:] _

How do I breathe

Without you here by my side?

How will I see

When your love brought me to the light?

Where do I go

When your heart's where I lay my head?

When you're not with me,

How do I breathe?

How do I breathe?

 

_ [Verse:] _

Girl I'm losin' my mind.

Yes I made a mistake.

I thought that you would be mine.

Guess the joke was on me.

I miss you so bad, I can't sleep.

I wish I knew where you could be.

Another dude is replacing me,

God this can't be happening.

 

_ [Hook:] _

I just had a wake up call (call),

Wishing that I never let you fall (fall),

Baby you are not to blame at all.

When I'm the one that pushed you away

Baby if you knew I cared (cared),

You'd have never went nowhere (nowhere),

Girl I should've been right there.

 

_ [Chorus:] _

(And I wonder...)

How do I breathe

Without you here by my side?

How will I see

When your love brought me to the light?

Where do I go

When your heart's where I lay my head?

When you're not with me (I'm saying),

How do I breathe?

How do I breathe?

 

_ [Verse:] _

I can't get over you, no

Baby I don't wanna let go, no

Girl you need to come home

Girl come back to me

'Cause girl you made it hard to breathe

When you're not with me.

 

_ [Chorus:] _

(Tell me)

How do I breathe

Without you here by my side?

How will I see

When your love brought me to the light?

Where do I go (where do I, where do I go)

When your heart's where I lay my head?

When you're not with me,

How do I breathe?

 

How do I breathe?

_ [Some speaking starts] _

Without you here by my side?

How will I see (how will I see)

When your love brought me to the light (baby, baby)?

Where do I go (where do)

When your heart's where I lay my head?

When you're not with me (you're not with me),

How do I breathe (how do I breathe)?

How do I breathe?


	2. The Story

“Do you know how worried I was when I heard and then saw on the news that you had fainted… AGAIN?!?” Mark choked out as he stood in front of Jackson. He was in Jackson’s apartment again, the place he was most familiar with after the dorm.  _ Their sanctuary. _

“Yien, I was just too tired that’s all, but I’ve been taking care of myself, and those spells haven’t been happening often,” Jackson said, trying to placate him.

“Happening often? Gaga, It shouldn’t be happening at all. Why don’t you cut down on your schedule?” Mark tried to reason with him.

“Cut down?!? Do you know how hard it was for me to get these schedules in the first place?!”

“I know, Gaga, but it’s going to take a toll on your body, and it is taking a toll on your body!”

“Yien, I’m doing this for us! For GOT7!”

“Well, GOT7 would want you to put your health before anything else, Gaga! Especially me!”

“Why are you being so stubborn about this, Yien! I told you, I am fine! I am taking care of myself! My parents are there with me! You are suffocating me! I feel like I can’t breathe everytime I come back here when all I want is to see my boyfriend and spend time with him!”

This was the first time he heard from the younger that he was suffocating him. He felt hot tears begin to pool in his eyes, but Jackson seemed oblivious to them and continued. 

“Just because you aren’t doing anything to help promote GOT7 in your own country doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t! I work so hard at this!” Jackson added. It seemed like something just snapped inside Jackson. He just went on, slicing through him. His words like the blade of a knife, cutting into him deeply - precisely. “You don’t write songs or produce songs like the others. You don’t even act. You just sit there and play your computer games all day long!”

Mark bit his lip. He couldn’t believe how mean Jackson was being at the moment.

“I work hard too!”

“Well, not hard enough!”

Mark gasped. Jackson knew then - he had crossed the line. 

“Well, I can’t breathe knowing that you are not okay so far away from me, but it seems to me you are okay with that after all. Maybe I’m not as important as I thought I was.”

Before the younger could reply, he grabbed his overnight bag and left the house. 

 

 

JB knew Mark would be sleeping over at Jackson’s, since the younger just came back from China. Mark’s bed was the best and he knew the elder wouldn’t mind if he ‘borrowed’ his bed. It was a hot night, and JB was just sleeping in his sweatpants. So, he was surprised when Mark came in sobbing. It wasn’t the first time he saw the elder crying after coming home from Jackson’s place. 

Sitting up, he looked up at the elder as he sat up in the bed. “Sorry Mark, the cats was clinging to me and it is a hot night.”

Mark tried to wipe away his tears as he dismissed the explanation, “It’s okay, Jaebummie.”

JB knew that Mark wasn’t going to talk even if he asked. He watched as the elder began to fidgeting, and did the one thing he could do at the moment. He opened up his arms. Mark stumbled into them and immediately broke down into sobs against his chest, and he slowly eased them both back onto the bed. His right hand massaged his scalp while his left stroked his back as they lay down. JB was a bit angry at Jackson for making Mark sad, but all he could do was be a good friend to Mark. He placed his lips on Mark’s temple, humming random tunes until he himself fell asleep. 

Mark was thankful that the leader wasn’t asking questions. Slowly, he felt his breathing calm down until he drifted off to sleep. 

 

Mark woke up feeling warm and secure. He thought for a moment he was in Jackson’s arms again, but remembered that they had had a fight the night before, and he had come back to the dorm. JB had been in his room, again, borrowing his bed. Mark didn’t really mind. He knew how comfortable his bed was. He was also glad he wasn’t alone the night before. He was grateful that the younger boy kept him company and that he didn’t even ask him any questions. He just held him. Mark snuggled closer. He could hear JB slowly waking up, grumbling, “Nora, get off me.”

Mark chuckled softly, “I don’t think I’m Nora.”

JB rubbed his eyes groggily, “Sorry Mark. I thought I was in my bed.”

Mark’s arms were still around JB, and vice versa.

“Thanks for not asking questions and for staying with me, Jaebummie.”

“It’s okay,” as JB pulled Mark closer as he sighed. It would seem like he was falling asleep again. He didn’t really mind cause Mark was a snuggler and also a cuddler.

“Yah… I’m not a bolster!”

“Well, you cried on me so that makes me a bolster. Shhh… Go back to sleep. We have no schedule today Mark.”

Mark was thankful to have a friend like JB. He knew it was his way of comforting him in that moment. Mark snuggled JB’s chest and whispered, “Thank you.”

JB smirked as he placed a kiss on Mark’s head. The both of them just lay in bed, not sleeping, not talking, not doing anything - only  JB’s fingers drawing aimlessly on Mark’s back.

 

 

They finally got out of bed when both their stomachs started growling, which made the both of them laugh.

“You hungry Mark?” as JB looked down at where Mark was lying on his chest.

Mark looked up and grinned.

“Let me feed my babies and shower then we can either order something to be delivered or go out for lunch?”

“Okay. How about Yugyeom or Jinyoung?”

“Yugyeom went home and Jinyoung has filming or something. Meet you in the living room in half an hour?”

Mark nodded. As JB left his room, Mark stretched lazily. He was really glad JB was around. He really didn’t want to be alone. He checked his phone to see if Jackson tried to contact him as Mark always had the habit of switching off his handphone when he is at Jackson’s place - so that they would at least have the first night uninterrupted. He was left disappointed when he saw that there were no texts or missed calls from Jackson. Not even one. Mark was heartbroken. He went into his bathroom and cried a little more before slapping himself to tell himself to get a grip. It wasn’t him that needed to apologise. He wouldn't apologise for worrying too much about his boyfriend. But then again, he wasn’t even sure if he still has a boyfriend.

 

JB was sitting in the living room. He was reading while waiting for Mark to be ready. He was sure that the only person who could make Mark cry was Jackson and Jackson alone. The group all knew that the both of them were dating and it wasn’t a coincidence that Mark left the dorm the same night day that Jackson was flying back from China. JB knew that everybody thought that he was dating Jinyoung. Hell, the boys thought they were dating at first only to find out that they were really nothing more than best friends. It took them a lot of convincing but in the end, they finally accepted it, although they would still get jabs from time to time about them being the father and mother of the group. Funny thing was JB had always been close to Mark. People found it weird that he and Mark were really close when they were trainees up until they debuted. They were still close even after Mark and Jackson had gotten together but the time spent together just talking or watching movies had lessened quite a bit as Mark’s schedule revolved around Jackson’s and that made it a bit difficult to plan at times. Not only that, he was quite busy recently as he was appearing in some events and shows as well. 

 

 

He wondered how Mark was feeling. His thoughts broke when he felt somebody tapping on his forehead. He looked up and he could see Mark’s eyes was slightly red. He must have been crying in the bathroom. JB decided to ignore it and pretend that everything was okay.

“Did you fall asleep with your eyes wide open, Jaebummie?” Mark teased.

“Yes, and I’m dying of hunger so ordering takeaway is a no no.”

“What do you feel like having?”

“Japanese food.”

Mark grinned, “Sounds like a good plan.”

JB smirked. He knew that the elder would agree with his food choice. 

“But you are buying, Mark.”

“But why?” Mark pouted.

“Payment for crying on me,” JB teaseed.

“If anybody should be buying, it would have to be you.”

“Why?”

“Payment for sleeping on my bed.”

JB laughed and slung his arm over Mark’s shoulder, “Fine, hyung. Now let's go.”

 

Mark felt a lot better after having lunch with JB. Afterward, JB had taken him to Hangang Park - to 'stretch their legs' was his excuse. JB just hadn't want Mark to think too much. It was better for them to be outside and play. Even though they don’t talk much, they had always been close, and they do understand each other.

“Mark, I’m so full,” as JB flopped back to the grass, laying down.

Mark chuckled as he mirrored JB. “Me too.”

“It’s nice to have so break time before our next schedules, right?”

Mark nodded, “Yups. It’s such a beautiful day today. I wish we could do this everyday.”

“I know, right.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Mark shook his head. He wasn’t ready to voice the things in his head and the things he was feeling.

“I’m here if you ever wanna talk, hyung,”JB teased Mark.

Mark laughed as he ruffled JB’s hair. After spending the whole afternoon at the park, they decided to head back to the dorm. Mark definitely felt better and he was very grateful for JB. 

 

 

When they got back to the dorm, it seemed like everybody - except the other three that was living separately from them - was home.

“Mark, hyung,” cried Yugyeom as the youngest threw his arms around Mark, hugging him tight.

Mark chuckled, “What’s up, Yugyeom-dong?”

“Nothing. Just felt like hugging you. Mum and Dad says hi and that you should come home with me so they can feed you cause you are getting skinnier.”

“Okay. How’s your day, Jinyoungie?” he asked as Mark turned to Jinyoung, with Yugyeom still clinging onto him, the younger's arms around his shoulder, back hugging him.

“You mean day and night, hyung? I just got back and I’m tired but I’m so hungry. Can we go eat please?” Jinyoung looking at JB, Yugyeom and Mark.

“Okay,” all three replied. 

So instead of changing, they all headed back out to get korean food. It was nice. Mark was glad he was not alone with his thoughts.

 

Since that night, It seemed like both Mark and Jackson were avoiding each other. 

 

 

For the latest comeback, Mark seemed to be always hanging out with JB and vice versa. Mark felt really comfortable around JB and the younger was always encouraging Mark to talk more or even just let him to remain silent as JB knew that was what the elder felt most comfortable. He knew that Mark was the type would only speak when necessary and also spoke if he has something important to say. He was careful. Jackson on the other hand seemed to be clinging more and more to Jinyoung. It was normal for them to be close as they were closest in age and Jackson would always talk to Jinyoung about his worries in everything, including relationship but more on career.

“Hey Mark, aren’t you going to be in the same car with Jackson?” JB ask during one of their activities. 

Mark was in the same car with JB and Youngjae while the others were in the other. Mark shakes his head. Youngjae was already warming up his voice with his headphones on so he couldn’t hear what JB and Mark was talking about. JB didn’t push the subject when Mark took out his phone to watch games on his phone. JB decided to take a nap. In the other car, Bam Bam and Yugyeom was having a debate on whose clothes was better while Jackson and Jinyoung was just talking about their work like Jinyoung’s acting and Jackson’s activities in China. This went on until their latest comeback. There was little interaction between Mark and Jackson. The other members noticed it but they decided to keep silent about it. 

 

When they got to the radio show, Mark sat at the end, a place he usually took as he didn't talk much, while Jackson sat somewhere in the middle. Jinyoung was their buffer in a way. Mark didn’t mind, knowing that the both of them needed some time out. They were talking about their new album. The DJ noona ask who gave them the most strength during this comeback.

“Jaebum,” Mark replied.

The others were smiling and teasing him as everybody answered everybody except Mark. He was being very specific about his answer. Jaebum smiled. He understood why Mark had chosen him. They’d been talking a lot and had been hanging out a lot lately. He was there to listen and to support Mark and vice versa. By the end of the radio show, they were all smiles and laughter. Jackson on the other hand didn’t want to think too much about it. He has Jinyoung to share his troubles with so he understood where Mark was coming from. He told himself that they needed some time apart after that fight. 

 

 

During the promotion, Jackson could see that Mark was clinging onto Jaebum and he onto Jinyoung. Maybe this was better. Slowly, he and Mark started to talk again. It wasn’t about anything serious just about the promotions and all but it felt good. Maybe this is a step in repairing their relationship. Their small talks turned to them spending some time with each other. Nothing major. Maybe going out to but drinks or food during promotions. Things seemed to be shaky but they were getting there. Slowly but surely. Even though Jackson was busy in China, he takes the time to actually text Mark and even call him or FaceTime him so that he could update him and also to unconsciously show him that he was taking care of himself.

“So how is your recording and all over there Jacks?”

“Oh, everything is going well. He Jiong gege says hi.”

“Tell him I said hi too.”

“Okay Yien.”

“I think it’s time for you to get some rest. I need to go too.”

“But why?” Jackson whines and pouts.

Mark chuckles, “I can see the dark circles around your eyes.”

“Fine. But I demand lots of cuddles when I get back.”

“Okay!”

“See you soon Yien. I miss you so much.”

“Miss you too.”

That night they both went to sleep with a smile on their face. Maybe some timeout was all they needed to find their way to each other again. 

 

 

The next few months, both Mark and Jackson seemed to be back on track again until Jackson started being even more busy with new endorsements and new shows that he would be involved in and also his new song coming out. Mark tried his best to be the supportive boyfriend but he could see that Jackson was stretched thin again and he worried that Jackson would fall sick again. He didn’t want to be a nag but he was afraid that Jackson would just faint again or worse, needed to be warded in the hospital. Mark tried to talk to Jackson when he was back in Seoul.

“Gaga…”

“Yes Yien,” as Jackson wraps his arms around Mark on his bed.

Jackson was finally back home in Seoul and of course Mark would be spending some time with him in the house.

“Are you okay? Are you feeling well?”

“I am. Maybe slightly tired but other than that I’m okay. Why?”

“Nothing. Just watch one of the episodes of HBDC the other night and they were news stating that you were having a fever during that time.”

Jackson sighs. Here they go again. Jackson gets out of bed.

“Yien, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m fine okay. I know how to take care of myself.”

“I know Gaga. I just can’t help worrying okay.”

For some reason, that made Jackson angry and frustrated. He was tired of people around him worrying for him. He knows why but he also knows that he knows his limit. Why can’t they see that.

“Gaga?”

“Look Yien. I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry okay,” Jackson tried to keep his anger under control.

“I know. I just…”

“Just what Yien?”

Mark kept quiet.

“Trust me okay Yien. I know my limits.”

“That’s what you said the last time,” Mark mumbled under his breath as he got out of bed as well.

“You know what! I am tired of all this worrying, okay? I am a grown up who knows how to take care of himself. I can manage myself just fine. I know what to do after being so busy all the time. Something you wouldn’t understand okay.”

“I…”

“You what? Bam Bam would understand how I am feeling and look, why aren’t you mothering over him instead?” 

“Well, can’t help it if I’m worried about my boyfriend!”

“Who's your boyfriend anyway!?”

“Wow. Even that is a low blow, coming from you Jackson Wang.”

Mark would not deny it- that hurt coming from his mouth. Mark decided that enough is enough. He didn’t say anything. What he did was walk away. Jackson was still so angry that he didn’t even ask Mark to stay. He just let him walk away. 

 

 

Jackson wasn’t sure what he was feeling after Mark left. He felt like he couldn’t breath. He felt like Mark had just taken away the air along with him. Did he have to take it that far? Mark felt numb. He didn’t think that Jackson would say that to him, again, but his heart could only take that much. Was it wrong to worry about his supposedly boyfriend? Wait, was he the only one that thought they were boyfriends? He went straight back to the dorm, walking into his room and ignored Jaebum, Jinyoung and Yugyeom who was in the living room.

“Hyung, wanna join us for a movie?” Yugyeom asked.

Mark ignored him and just walk into his room. They all looked at each other when Jinyoung’s phone rang.

“It’s Jackson,” was all Jinyoung said.

Jaebum signalled Jinyoung to pick up the phone while he checks up on Mark. Jaebum knocks on the door and opens it when he doesn’t hear any answer from the elder.

“Mark?”

“Yeah,” was all Mark said.

He sounded so tired to Jaebum. Jaebum walked in only to see Mark laying down on his bed, face down. Jaebum sat next to him on the bed. Mark turned around and cuddled Jaebum’s leg. Jaebum instinctively threaded his fingers through Mark’s hair, stroking it.

“Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“You okay?”

“I don’t know.”

Jaebum just sat there in the dark, stroking Mark’s hair. The both of them didn’t say anything after that and yet Jaebum’s presence was calming for Mark. He just doesn’t know what to feel anymore.

 

“Jinyoungie, is Mark there?”

“He just got home. He looked so zombie like. What happened, Seunnie?”

Jackson kept quiet. 

“Seun-ah, Mark hyung looks lifeless. What happened again?”

“Can you come see me now, Jinyoungie?”

“Sure. Be there in 10.”

Jackson was already drinking when Jinyoung arrived at his place. Jinyoung sat next to him and took a can of beer, taking a sip before talking.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. One minute we were cuddling. The next we were arguing, again.”

“Again?” Jinyoung looks at Jackson.

Jackson took a deep breath and told Jinyoung about the fight right before the beginning of their promotion. He didn’t omit anything and told Jinyoung everything.

“You said what? Seun-ah! Even I think it’s too much.”

“I don’t know what got into me Jinyoungie. I mean…”

“What do you mean you don’t know what got into you? Even that coming from you is too harsh, my friend. Way harsh,” as Jinyoung drank more.

“What do I do? I mean, I feel like he doesn’t understand me anymore.”

“Seun-ah, don’t you think that Mark hyung was just worried about you? He has been following up on your news and has been trying not to get too worked up over things but you can’t blame him for worrying about his boyfriend.”

“I don’t know if I have a boyfriend anymore,” Jackson mumbled under his breath.

“You what?!”

“I might have said some things but we are just drifting apart Jinyoungie. I don’t know. Maybe this is what we need. We need a break.”

“I hope you are right Seun-ah. I hope you won’t regret this.”

“We’ll be fine. We always are.”

Jackson didn’t sound so confident either. It was like he was doubting his own words at the moment.

 

 

Ever since then, it was obvious that Mark tried to get away from the Markson ship as much as possible, same with Jackson. For the latest promotion, everybody had been hyping up JackJae and Jinson. The fans kept saying Jinson was on the rise and also Markbum. These two ships were sailing. When Mark or Bam Bam goes through the tags on twitter, it was obvious how much the fans love these ships. It made Mark smile. He would show it to Jaebum and they would have a laugh. Mark didn’t mind the Jinson ship as he had always known that the two of them was close. But the maknaes seemed to love to tease him and Jaebum the most, since they would always give them such a big reaction.

“Yah… Jaebum hyung is favouring Mark hyung.”

Jaebum would always defend himself helplessly with Mark laughing next to him. Jaebum was glad that Mark seems happier after that night and they had gotten close again. It wasn’t a surprise to them when they gravitated towards each other during the promotions such as radio shows. They were even surprised to see the broadcast shows showing them being in a world of their own. It made them laugh but not Jackson. It’s not that they were doing it on purpose but Jaebum was giving Mark support by being a friend for him.

 

Jackson and Mark? Well, they were kind of okay. They were friends first so it seems like they were back to being that. Jackson tried his best to to apologise to Mark. Who knows what happened but they seemed to be okay but it wasn’t like the Markson era or anything. During the concerts and everything, they seemed to be close but not as close before. You could see that there was something that was not there anymore. Mark felt more at ease with how things were between them. He didn’t feel the pressure. He still cared for Jackson but Jinyoung and the others would be better at getting through to him. Maybe it was just him. He was thankful for Jaebum. He was glad to have his best friend back. Maybe it was his fault for them not being close like before but now he got to spend more time with his best friend. It wasn’t long till they were going on their world tour to Europe and that made Mark excited. He had always wanted to travel to Europe with the members. His wish came true. He was giddy and excited. It was during their Seoul stop, the first stop that Jackson noticed how happy Mark was, without him in a way. That broke his heart and he told Jinyoung that.

“He looks so happy without me Jinyoungie. He is always with Jaebum hyung.”

“You can’t blame him Seun-ah. After what happened…”

“What if he falls for Jaebum hyung? Or the other way round.”

“Then there is nothing you can do about it?”

Jackson sighs.

 

They were finally going on their world tour. Everybody was excited and they couldn’t sleep. They were already exploring Russia when they had just arrived. Everybody was tired but they wanted to explore the city as much as possible. Same with the other stops. For some reason, Mark and Jackson would explore the city together. They naturally became a team but without the hugging or hand holding or kissing. It made Jackson sad. It made his heart ached. It was during one of their exploring with the group that Jackson couldn’t hold it in anymore. Mark was laughing and he looked so happy. He managed to get Mark alone with him. 

“Have I lost you forever, Yien?” Jackson ask, almost pleadingly.

Mark looks at him sadly, “You can’t lose what you never have, remember? Like you said, who’s your boyfriend anyway?”

That broke Jackson’s heart into a million pieces. Something he said during the heat of an argument was something that had wedged itself into Mark’s heart. Before Jackson could say anything, the group was calling them.

“Mark! We are leaving with or without you,” Jaebum teased.

“Yah! Wait for me Jaebummie.”

Mark turned to Jackson, “Let’s go.”

There was no smile. Jackson nodded. 

 

That night, Jackson couldn’t stop the tears. It felt like he had lost Mark forever. It felt like he couldn’t breath. It dawned on him that he might have driven Mark away into somebody’s arms. He had nobody else to blame. But he is holding on to that little hope that there is a possibility for them to get back together. He would show Mark. He would prove to Mark that he has grown as a person. He would find a way to be with Mark again and this time he would cherish him with all that he had.

 

Mark was right beside Jaebum. Jaebum turned to look at his best friend. He didn’t look happy. He look sad even though he had a smile on his face. Jaebum nudged him ,”You okay?”

Mark shrugged, “I will be in time?”

Jaebum grabbed Mark’s nape, “I’m here.”

“I know. I just feel like I can't breathe at times. I just…”

“I know. He might come around.”

“I don’t know if I dare to let him in again… I…”

“He is doing all he can to make things right, isn’t he?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to think about it now. I just want to focus on the world tour for now. Let’s enjoy Europe!” says Mark as he breaks into a run.

Jaebum laughs as he catches up with Mark. There might still be hope for Jackson and Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come scream at me @ Oblichyld. 
> 
> I kind of forgotten about this story until I was browsing through my folder and realise that this was just sitting there. Added some things and decided to post it.
> 
> Sometimes we say things we don't mean or don't mean it that way but words spoken can't be taken back. You might not mean it the way the other party take it but we can't help how the other person decipher it. You know what I mean? I think I'm rambling again. Let me know what you think about this brain fart. I'm trying to get this brain moving to write my other stories.


	3. Sequel

After that day, Jackson gives Mark space. After what he has put his heart through, that was the least Jackson could do. He is still holding on to hope that Mark still cares a lot for him. Cares for him more than friends. He has seen it. It’s still there. Mark would always ask Jinyoung to remind him to take good care of himself. Even Mark himself would give him his best wishes whenever he travels or even text him congratulations when he wins something in China. 

 

God knows that they need time to mend the pain that he had cause when he said those words during heat of the moment. He really didn’t mean it. Hopefully, he didn’t break Mark’s heart to the extent of him not wanting to be with him again. He hopes and prays that it was not the case.

“Seun-ah.”

Jackson’s train of thoughts was broken when Jinyoung calls out to him. They were at the studio, practising for their comeback and concert and was now on a break. Yugyeom and Bam Bam was fooling around, as usual. JB and Youngjae was going through the song. Mark was on his phone, as usual.

“Jinyoungie,” Jackson calling Jinyoung in his sing song voice.

Jinyoung smiles as he takes a seat next to Jackson, “Staring at Mark hyung again?”

Jackson sighs.

“It has been weeks Seun-ah. When are you going to fix things with Mark hyung?”

“I don’t know if it is fixable this time,” says Jackson as his eyes follows JB to where Mark was. He could see the way Mark’s face lights up when JB is next to him. He wishes it was still the same with him.

“You do know JB hyung and Mark hyung are close right? They have always been close.”

“I know but doesn’t mean I can’t feel jealous or something.”

Jinyoung flicks Jackson’s forehead gently, “You know you kinda lost that privilege when you hurt him right?”

“I know but…”

“But what?”

Jackson remains silent for a little while.

“Seun-ah… spill.”

“I just feel like this is…”

“This is something that you…”

Jackson cuts Jinyoung off even before he could say anything else.

“I mean, where else can we go after all that we’ve been through? We’ve been through so much for the last few years together. From learning the language to martial arts tricking to his father not liking me? That's a whole lot of drama that came up. And the whole no more Markson thing, I think it shows how much we’ve been through together…”

“Seun-ah…”

“Despite the fights we have been having recently about my health and work and all. Despite how it was I who pushed him away and all that…”

“Jacks…”

“Despite all that, Jinyoungie, I believe that my life is with him. All the things that I’ve achieved so far doesn’t mean a thing if he is not there with me at the end of the day.”

Jinyoung smiles and ruffles Jackson’s hair, “My ever optimistic Wanggae.”

“I have to be, Parkgae, if I’m to weather through this storm.”

Both Jackson and Jinyoung laughs.

 

 

“Mork,” JB calling Mark.

“Yah! Jaebummie!”

JB laughs as he seats next to his best friend, leaning onto his shoulder.

“Are you watching overwatch videos again on your phone?”

“Don’t judge,” says Mark as he continues ignoring JB and continues watching videos.

“I want to run through some ideas with you, hyung.”

Mark glares at a grinning JB. The younger rarely calls him hyung unless he wants something or needs something.

“What do you want?” Mark sighs as he puts down his phone and gives JB his attention.

“I want your attention,” says JB as he puts his head on Mark’s lap.

Mark rolls his eyes but threads his fingers through JB’s hair.

“You have my attention, now spill.”

JB grins, “Jackson is staring daggers at me. Don’t you dare turn to look at him or he knows we are talking about him.” 

“You’re a bit of a sadist aren’t you, leader-nim?” 

JB wiggles his eyebrows which made Mark laugh. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Jackson staring daggers at him. Mark can’t deny that it made him happy to see Jackson this way. Maybe he is a sadist too.

“So, what about the song?” 

“Well…”

JB went on to discuss with Mark his plans for their concert, until Jinyoung reminded them to start practising again.

“Hyung, break time over,” Jinyoung calling out to JB.

“Okay Nyoung. Boys, let’s start from the top again.” 

JB turns to wink at Mark, “He is looking at me like he is going to kill me. I think at some point, he might kill me in my sleep and you’ll lose a best friend Markeu.” 

“Shut up,” Mark says as he pushes JB off his lap, making the leader laugh.

“Yah!!! Is this how you treat your leader?” pretending to glare at the elder.

“Well, is this how you treat your hyung?” Mark deadpanning at the leader.

JB laughs and shrugs his shoulders. Mark slaps him on the ass before taking their position to begin their practise.

 

 

 

The progress seems slow but as they begin flying all over for their concerts, it would seem like Jackson and Mark’s relationship got better. They could talk to each other as usual and laugh about things. Minus the love dovey part of being in a relationship with each other. But it was all good. Jackson is reminded all over again, why he fell in love with this guy. He is reminded all over again how supportive he is and how caring he is towards each and everyone of them. In his subtle ways, he would remind them to take care of their health. It makes Jackson miss the time when he had Mark nagging him about his health.

 

Jackson was in China for his schedule and Mark has his first solo schedule in China. Mark was feeling nervous but Jackson was glad he was going to be there to assure him. Though he won’t be able to accompany him for the schedule but he would be able to see him in Beijing for dinner before he flies to Chengdu for his solo schedule.

“Mark hyung, don’t forget, we will be having dinner in Beijing okay. I will see you after my schedule.”

“Okay Jacks. Shall I go meet you?”

“No! You stay and rest. I will pick you up from the hotel okay.”

Mark blushes a little. This feels like when they first dated where Jackson wanted to be all gentlemanly and shit and pick him up from their dorm.

“Okay. I think I have one or two photoshoots. I’ll let you know when I’m back in the hotel.”

“Okay. I got to go now. You have a safe flight. I’ll see you soon kay, baby.”

That pet name slipped out unconsciously. Jackson hopes that Mark didn’t realise it. 

“Okay. Bye Jacks.”

Mark puts down the phone, a smile lingering on his face. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the pet name. It was what Jackson use to call him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it but he was happy that Jackson is going out of his way to help him in his first solo schedule. Jackson on the other hand was ecstatic. He wanted so much for Mark to be able to have schedules in China like him as he knows how much the fans wanted him there. Maybe spending time somewhere else will help mend them. Maybe. Hopefully. Maybe. 

 

Mark was surprise at the amount of fans that greeted him in China. He was overwhelmed and very grateful for the opportunity. He told himself he would do his best here. He will not let this opportunity go to waste. It was a whirlwind of activities as soon as he landed. There was photoshoots and interviews and he managed or was told to open a Weibo account. It was time to brush up his mandarin skills. He was shy sending out his first Weibo tweet. He cold feel himself blushing. He was even more embarrassed when he tried playing with the Tik Tok app which is trending in China at the moment. He found himself blushing and cringing after replaying it. He couldn’t believe the amount of people that was watching and retweeting it.

“Markeu,” his manager called out to him.

“Yes!” as he puts down his phone and continued with his schedule.

 

Jackson quickly followed Mark on his Weibo account as soon as his manager told him about it. He was glad that Mark was going out of his comfort zone for his first schedule in China. Jackson couldn’t stop watching the Tik Tok that Mark did. He was so damn cute. He just want to stop everything that he is doing and just cuddle him or at least he wished he could cuddle him like before.

“You are too adorable for your own good, Yien.”

“Jackson!” one of his Team Wang’s calling out to him.

Jackson looked up from his phone, “Coming. By the way, do you think we will be done by dinner time?”

“I’m sure we would. Any plans?”

“Am planning on taking out Mark for dinner. Any recommendations?”

“Of course we do, boss. Let us take care of it.”

“Thanks!”

Jackson was extremely grateful for his understanding team. 

 

Both Jackson and Mark tried their best to concentrate on their schedules. It wasn’t really easy but for some reason the both of them felt like it was their first date all over again. The butterflies in their stomach. The what to wear to try to impress was even looming on their mind but they were sure they would end up just wearing a t-shirt and jeans kinda thing and just want to be comfortable instead of dressing up to the nines. Mark had already finish his schedule and was now resting after freshening up while waiting for Jackson. He made sure he packed too as he would be flying out that same night. For some reason he was nervous. Maybe it is because they haven’t actually spend time alone like this for the longest time. Ever since they “broke up”, they usually hang out in a group. Mark seems to be happier spending time with the leader than anybody else which kind of irks Jackson. Not that he was angry at him. Just that he was jealous of JB. He even heard from Jinyoung that JB would sleep in Mark’s room when the elder is there. He even made Jinyoung eavesdrop on them. He was glad when Jinyoung told him they would spend time talking.

“Yah! Seun-ah! Are you making me eavesdrop again? I told you, JB hyung and Mark hyung stays up talking, that’s all,” JInyoung grumbling at his friend.

“Are you sure? Are you they are not doing anything else like making out?”

“Euw and I don’t want to know either and yes I’m sure they are just talking and eventually falling asleep. And why am I spying for you?”

“Because you love me and my happiness is in your hands, Jinyoungie.”

“Ugh.”

“Don’t you ugh me.”

“Whatever. Take care and see you when you get back Seun-ah.”

“Okay Jinyoungie.”

 

Jackson was running a bit late, so he decided to call Mark just to let him know that he is on the way. He was sure the elder was waiting for him.

“Hello? Mark?”

“Hello Jacks.”

Mark’s voice was a bit hoarse. He must have fallen asleep while waiting for him.

“Sorry. The event finished later than anticipated. I am now on my way to pick you up for dinner.”

“It’s okay. At least I was able to catch up with some sleep.”

“I’m glad. Well, I’m about 20 minutes away from your hotel. There’s a bit of traffic at the moment.”

“Okay. See you.”

“See you.” 

 

Mark was all smiles when Jackson arrived. Jackson wasted no time in getting his team to get them to the dinner place as soon as possible.

“So, how was your schedule?”

“Oh, it’s fun.”

Mark then went on to tell Jackson about the photoshoots and interview and also about Weibo.

“I know. I followed you already.”

“OMG! That means you saw the…”

Jackson starts imitating Mark learning to be a cat. Mark was blushing and hiding his face in his hands.

“I cannot believe you saw that Jacks. OMG.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you were cute. Like really really cute.”

“OMG,” as Mark continues hiding his face, making Jackson coo at the elder.

“Auwww… Mark the cute little kitten. Here kitty kitty kitty. How do you mew?”

Mark continues hiding his face while pushing Jackson’s face away from him, making the younger laugh.

“Is the kitty hiding?”

“Stop,” Mark whines, pouting at the younger.

Jackson wasn’t immune to Mark’s pouts at all and of course he caves into him.

“Fine. I won’t tease Yien the little kitty anymore.”

Mark sticks his tongue out at the younger. They continued talking about their upcoming schedules until they reach the restaurant and until after dinner.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes Jacks. Thanks.”

“No problem. Time to get you back. You’ve got a flight later tonight right?”

“Yups. Everything is already packed.”

“Okay. Do you need me to send you to the airport?”

“It’s okay Jacks. The manager told me that they are getting ready to check out and everything and he has my bags and all. You sent me just on time.”

“Okay. See you in Hong Kong then.”

“Okay Jacks. Bye.” 

 

Jackson watches as Mark was out of his van and into the hotel. Jackson has a schedule in Chengdu as well but he was flying in later than Mark. it was a nice dinner. This was nice. Them just talking about music and things like before. Maybe they should spend more time like this. But how he misses having Mark in his arms, kissing him and hugging him. Maybe they will get there again someday. Hopefully sooner and not later cause he can hardly breathe without him by his side. This time, he feels like he is at ease even though he was busy. Maybe knowing that Mark was in the same place with him as well plays a part. Now he understands what Mark means when they are far apart. Knowing that the person you love is doing well and at least in the same place helps to put your heart at ease. 

 

Mark was happy with the turnout of fans at this solo schedule for Innersect x Know Wave. he was really grateful. Without them, he wouldn’t have made it. He was even more surprised at the turn out of fans sending him off at the airport. He was really glad that he was able to have a solo schedule here. He was smiling while playing games when JB walks into his room.

“Somebody is happy after coming back from China.”

Mark pretends to ignores him.

“Markeu, don’t ignore me.”

Mark smirks and continues with his games while JB made himself comfortable on his bed.

“Were you sleeping on my bed again?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Who wants to know?”

“The owner of the bed wants to know.”

JB grins and makes himself comfortable in Mark’s bed, “Good night.”

“Yah!” 

Mark just lets him be. His head was up in the clouds. His mind was with Jackson. He really liked spending time with him there. It won’t be long till he sees him in Hong Kong for their final concert.

 

 

 

They were all happily recording their second season of Hard Carry when the twitterverse was blowing up. Mark was able to see what was going on during a short break. His dad tweeted something cryptic and it was getting out of hand. Mark could hardly breathe. How is this happening? What is happening? His members must have gone on twitter and saw it, especially Bam Bam.

“Hyung…”

Mark waves him off and walks into the van, trying to wrap his head around it. All this has to happen the day before the concert. Just great. The other members was worried about him. He was able to put on a brave face in front of them but they know, especially Jackson knows how hard it is and how hard it is going to be, having words twisted to their understanding. Maybe his father didn’t mean it like that but it was all taken out of context. Jackson for one knows how it feels.

“Jackson hyung…”

“It’s okay Bams. I got this. Just give him some space. I’ll talk to him.”

The rest of them nods. Jackson takes a seat next to Mark. He didn’t say anything. He knows that Mark would talk when he wants to. For now, just being there for him is all he needs. Mark puts his head on Jackson’s shoulder. Jackson smiles sadly and puts his head on his, just letting the silence engulf them for a moment. The members didn’t say anything when they got in the van, just letting Mark be. Regardless what was happening in the twitterverse, Mark knew he has to keep up with a brave front and get everything right in his mind. He’ll talk to his father when their recording is over.

 

The night before the concert, after their recording, everybody was in Jackson’s and Bam Bam’s room except for Mark.

“Jackson hyung, is Mark hyung okay?” ask Yugyeom.

“I think he just needs time for things to sink in and to sort it out with papa. That’s all.”

“Yeah. Knowing him, he’ll sort it out in his head first before telling us what he is feeling,” JB adds.

“Yes. Just trust in Mark hyung,” says Jinyoung.

They all nod and starts joking around like they usually do. Jackson quietly slips off to check up on Mark. He wanted to know how he is. Mark opened the door even before he could knock on it. And if Jackson wasn’t looking at the door, he was sure he would have knock on Mark’s beautiful face. Before Jackson could say anything, Mark wrapped his arms around Jackson. Jackson was a bit shocked but he quickly pushed Mark into the room, just holding him, letting him be. He rubs his back, hoping that it would help in whatever he is feeling at the moment. It felt like forever, and Mark wasn’t letting go or saying anything. Jackson slowly guides them to the bed so that he could sit down and Mark just straddled him like it was the most natural thing to do.

“You okay?” Jackson whispered.

Mark shrugs.

“Everything will be fine, baby. Believe me.”

“I know papa means well but I wished he would not tweet his thoughts out like that. It’s… It’s…”

“I know. I understand. It’s normal for parents to think about their child’s future.”

“I know but not to the world.”

Jackson kept quiet. They just stayed that way. They didn’t say anything or do anything. Jackson wasn’t sure how long they were like that but he was sure that Mark had fallen asleep. He manhandled him to lie in bed. He was just about to leave when Mark pulled his hand, “Stay with me.”

Jackson nods. He shootout a quick text to Bam Bam to let him know to sleep with Yugyeom tonight. Jackson then joined Mark in bed. Mark snuggled closer to Jackson, like how he used to when they were together and Jackson just wrapped his arms around him. Jackson kissed the top of his head.

“Everything will be alright baby. I’m here for you.”

Mark kissed him on his neck.

 

 

The next day, the other members was trying to gaged Mark’s mood and it seems like he was all smiling and happy. Maybe he worked it out in his head. All Mark did was to assure each and every one of them, “I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

That was enough to make the rest of them crowd around him and hug him. He was all smiles again. Mark knew he shouldn’t worry them like that but he was glad that they gave him the space that he needs. During rehearsal, he decided he was going to do something with his hair. He needed a pick me up. That was what the doctor ordered. Even the members think that it does the trick. He was all happy and laughing and smiling. Not to mention he looked hot. Jackson couldn’t keep his eyes off of Mark. The maknaes was teasing him endlessly about it.

“Hyung, keep your mouth close. You are drooling,” Youngjae teasing Jackson.

It was loud enough for Mark to hear and he was blushing. But seeing him happy, puts Jackson’s heart at ease. Maybe for once, after a long time, he was able to help Mark to smile again and that was enough for him. After rehearsals, it was time for them to get ready with their last and final stop of the world tour. This was it, before their come back. Tonight was going to be a fun night.

 

All of them gave it their all for this final stop. They were having fun while performing. Mark pushed everything that had happened between him and Jackson and on twitter back. This was the night to dwell on all that. Mark felt like he gave his all during this concert, like the others. He was interacting with the crowd and the members including Jackson. This is what he was born to do. Even though he found it later than the others but this is what he wants to do for as long as he can with GOT7. During his ending ment, Mark felt all choked up. He was sure the fans was worried as well. He decided it was now or never to say something to reassure them. This was it. 

“... Don’t worry about the future, we still have time. If there isn’t 7 people, there’s no GOT7. If there is not fans,  there is no GOT7…”

Everybody was cheering so loud and at that moment, Mark felt like he was being reassured as well. Jackson was next. He was happy that Mark took a stand, in his own terms. He was so filled with love for the boy next to him. 

“... We’ll work hard to be us. Be the 7 of us. Believe in us...”

Mark felt himself melting. This was the boy he fell in love with, this was the boy that had his back no matter what. 

 

 

After the encore, Jackson pulled Mark, finding a quiet place so that they can talk. This was it. Now or never. If he wants to win the love of his life back, this was it. No more waiting. He knows what his hearts wants and he just hopes that Mark still feels the same.

“Yien, baby…” as he cupped his face.

“Gaga… I…”

“I’m so sorry for the things I said. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for being an insensitive fool. I’m sorry for not being there for you when you were feeling so insecure… I only added to your insecurities and I love you so much…”

Mark kissed him. This was all he need. Jackson and the rest of GOT7. They would always have his back. Jackson would always have his back. Jackson kissed him back, wrapping his arms around him tight.

“I love you so much Yien. I promise that I will always support you and…”

“Listen to me nag?”

“Maybe not that but… Ouch!” Jackson yells when Mark pulled his ears.

Mark was laughing. He missed his laughter. He missed Mark laughing because of him.

“Baby, just like GOT7, let’s be together for a long time. I can’t breathe without you. I want to be where you are.”

“I love you too Gaga. Yes. Let’s be together for a long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go @islandahgase (;


End file.
